For the last few blogs I sit down at don't have any idea what to say the the urge to communicate is very strong. I wish you could see my life. This white walled house. The king cat I serve raw meat and walk on a leash. I live in a town that is half dead. The main street is lined with gutted and deteriorated motels, gas stations, bars, eateries and the like. Almost every block has abandoned homes. The town itself is sandwiched between a rail road and a four lane interstate, a economic conveyor belt between Tucson and El Paso. It is, surprisingly, the most peaceful town I've ever lived in. For me, peaceful in a graveyard sort of way. The peace forces contemplations of impermanence. Uncomfortable reviews of one's life. A blank movie screen on which to project insecurities and failures, if you're prone to that sort of thing. This quality also makes the good times with the sangha more-gooder. I sort of cringe today when I think "I am doing spiritual work here." Today I want to call it Life work. I started this study with my Lamas thinking of it as spiritual work. Now I see that all aspects of life are spiritual work. Life is spirit. I'm being taught to live fully. That's a heavily loaded sentence. The Lamas, the techings, and the lineage flesh out that sentence. They flesh it out for me until I can finish it for myself. It's like when a parent takes the training wheels off of their childs bike. Mom or Dad (or both) will hold onto their baby and the handle bars and RUN! to get the momentum up. The momentum is scary and exhilerating for the new rider. But the speed creates a stability in the contraption and the body. I remember doing this. I could feel how it worked. "I can do this!" Then there is some falling over, some pain. And the parents help us again and again until we don't need them to do it. We find the parent with in ourselves and then the real adventures begin. Bicycling or self searching.
I want to end by thanking Darren Rhodes, the tenacious D, for his "Daily D" emails and thank Bliss for compiling them into book form. They have got my wheels turning in the last two days in a different way. I need the words of great teachers in my mind all the time. Love love love